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Uncle vernon, uncle vernon, independent as a hog on ice
heand's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
plays accordion for mr. weiss
uncle biltmore and uncle william
made a million during world war two
but theyand're tightwads and theyand're cheapskates
and theyand'll never give a dime to you
auntie mame has gone insane
she lives in the doorway of an old hotel
and the radio is playing opera
all she ever says is go to hell
uncle violet flew as a pilot
and there ainand't no pretty girls in france
now he runs a tiny little bookie joint
they say he never keeps it in his pants
uncle bill will never leave a will
and the tumor is as big as an egg
he has a mistress, sheand's puerto rican
and i heard she has a wooden leg
uncle phil canand't live without his pills
he has emphysema and heand's almost blind
and we must find out where the money is
get it now before he loses his mind
uncle vernon, uncle vernon, independent as a hog on ice
heand's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
he plays accordion for mr. weiss
Tom Waits
Cemetery polka
Cemetery polka
Uncle vernon, uncle vernon, independent as a hog on ice
heand's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
plays accordion for mr. weiss
uncle biltmore and uncle william
made a million during world war two
but theyand're tightwads and theyand're cheapskates
and theyand'll never give a dime to you
auntie mame has gone insane
she lives in the doorway of an old hotel
and the radio is playing opera
all she ever says is go to hell
uncle violet flew as a pilot
and there ainand't no pretty girls in france
now he runs a tiny little bookie joint
they say he never keeps it in his pants
uncle bill will never leave a will
and the tumor is as big as an egg
he has a mistress, sheand's puerto rican
and i heard she has a wooden leg
uncle phil canand't live without his pills
he has emphysema and heand's almost blind
and we must find out where the money is
get it now before he loses his mind
uncle vernon, uncle vernon, independent as a hog on ice
heand's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse
he plays accordion for mr. weiss
