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It was the blackest night
there was no moon in sight
you know the stars ainand't shininand'
and'cause the skyand's too tight
i heard the scarey wind
i seen some ugly trees
there was a werewolf honkinand'
and'long the aide of me
Iand'm mean and'n iand'm bad, yand'know i ainand't no sissy
got a big titty girly by the name of chrissy
talkinand' about her and'n my bike and'n me . . .
and'n this ride up the mountain of mystery, mystery
I noticed even the crickets
was actinand' weird up here
so i figured i might
just drink a little beer
i said, andquot;gimme summa that what yer suckinand' on . . andquot;
but there was no reply
and'cause she was gone . . .
andquot;whereand's those titties i like so well,
and'nand' my godam beer!andquot;
is what i started to yell, then i heard this noise
like a crunchinand' twig, and'n up jumped the devil, . .
heand's about this big, . .
He had a red suit on
anand' a widowand's peak
anand' then a pointed tail
and'n like a sulphur reek
yes, it was him awright,
i swear i knowed it was
he had some human flesh
stuck underneath his claws
you know, it looked to me
like it was titty skin
i said, andquot;you sonofabifch!andquot;
and'cause i was mad at him.
well he just got out the floss
and'n started cleaninand' his fang
so i shot him with my shooter.
said: bang bang bang
The sucker just laughed and'n said, andquot;put it away . . .
you know, i ate her all up . . . now what you gonna say?andquot;
you ate my chrissy? andquot;yeah! titties and'n all!andquot;
what about the beer then? andquot;were the cans this tall?andquot;
even her boots? andquot;would i lie to you?andquot;
shit, you musta been hungry! andquot;yes, this is trueand'.
and'well donand't they pay yand'all good for the
stuff that you do?
andquot;i canand't complain when the checks come through . . and'and'
well i want my chrissy, and'n i want my beer
so you just barf it back up now, devil,
do you hear!
andquot;blow it out your ass, motorcycle man! i am fhe devil,
do you understand?
just what will you give me for your titties and beer?
i suppose you noticed this little contract here, . and'and'
yer goddam right, you son-of-a-whore,
thatand's about the only reason
i learned writinand' for . . .
gimme that paper ... bet yer ass
iand'll sign . . . and'cause i need a beer, and'n itand's titty-
squeezinand' time!
andquot;you canand't fool me, man . . . you ainand't that bad . . .
i mean you shoulda seen some of fhe souls i had . . .
why there was milhous nixon and'n agnew too . . .
and'n both of fhose suckers was worse and'n you . .
andquot;well, letand's make a deal if you think thatand's true
i mean, youand're the devil so ... whatcha gonna do?
(improvised dialog)
andquot;no! donand't sign it! give me time to think ...
i mean ... hold on a minute, boy . . . thatand's
magic ink!andquot;
And then the devil puked
and'n out jumped mand'girl
they heard the titties plop-ploppinand'
all around the world, she said:
andquot;i got me three beers and'n a fist fulla downs,
anand' iand'm gonna get wrecked, so fuck you clowns!andquot;
And then she gave us the finger,
it was rigid and'n stiff,
thatand's when the devil, he farted
anand' she went right over the cliff
the devil was mad took off to my pad
i swear i do declare!
how did she get back there?
i swear i do declare!
how did she get back there?
etc. repeat
Frank Zappa
Titties N Beer
Titties N Beer
It was the blackest night
there was no moon in sight
you know the stars ainand't shininand'
and'cause the skyand's too tight
i heard the scarey wind
i seen some ugly trees
there was a werewolf honkinand'
and'long the aide of me
Iand'm mean and'n iand'm bad, yand'know i ainand't no sissy
got a big titty girly by the name of chrissy
talkinand' about her and'n my bike and'n me . . .
and'n this ride up the mountain of mystery, mystery
I noticed even the crickets
was actinand' weird up here
so i figured i might
just drink a little beer
i said, andquot;gimme summa that what yer suckinand' on . . andquot;
but there was no reply
and'cause she was gone . . .
andquot;whereand's those titties i like so well,
and'nand' my godam beer!andquot;
is what i started to yell, then i heard this noise
like a crunchinand' twig, and'n up jumped the devil, . .
heand's about this big, . .
He had a red suit on
anand' a widowand's peak
anand' then a pointed tail
and'n like a sulphur reek
yes, it was him awright,
i swear i knowed it was
he had some human flesh
stuck underneath his claws
you know, it looked to me
like it was titty skin
i said, andquot;you sonofabifch!andquot;
and'cause i was mad at him.
well he just got out the floss
and'n started cleaninand' his fang
so i shot him with my shooter.
said: bang bang bang
The sucker just laughed and'n said, andquot;put it away . . .
you know, i ate her all up . . . now what you gonna say?andquot;
you ate my chrissy? andquot;yeah! titties and'n all!andquot;
what about the beer then? andquot;were the cans this tall?andquot;
even her boots? andquot;would i lie to you?andquot;
shit, you musta been hungry! andquot;yes, this is trueand'.
and'well donand't they pay yand'all good for the
stuff that you do?
andquot;i canand't complain when the checks come through . . and'and'
well i want my chrissy, and'n i want my beer
so you just barf it back up now, devil,
do you hear!
andquot;blow it out your ass, motorcycle man! i am fhe devil,
do you understand?
just what will you give me for your titties and beer?
i suppose you noticed this little contract here, . and'and'
yer goddam right, you son-of-a-whore,
thatand's about the only reason
i learned writinand' for . . .
gimme that paper ... bet yer ass
iand'll sign . . . and'cause i need a beer, and'n itand's titty-
squeezinand' time!
andquot;you canand't fool me, man . . . you ainand't that bad . . .
i mean you shoulda seen some of fhe souls i had . . .
why there was milhous nixon and'n agnew too . . .
and'n both of fhose suckers was worse and'n you . .
andquot;well, letand's make a deal if you think thatand's true
i mean, youand're the devil so ... whatcha gonna do?
(improvised dialog)
andquot;no! donand't sign it! give me time to think ...
i mean ... hold on a minute, boy . . . thatand's
magic ink!andquot;
And then the devil puked
and'n out jumped mand'girl
they heard the titties plop-ploppinand'
all around the world, she said:
andquot;i got me three beers and'n a fist fulla downs,
anand' iand'm gonna get wrecked, so fuck you clowns!andquot;
And then she gave us the finger,
it was rigid and'n stiff,
thatand's when the devil, he farted
anand' she went right over the cliff
the devil was mad took off to my pad
i swear i do declare!
how did she get back there?
i swear i do declare!
how did she get back there?
etc. repeat
